Coming this Sunday-July 6, 2008
The Life and Death of Marriage
Matthew 5:31-32; Mark 10:2-9
This week in the Sermon on the Mount, we've come to the place where Jesus addresses this issue of divorce. To help us in our understanding, I'm going to have you look at two different times when Jesus touched on this subject. One of them is here in the Sermon on the Mount and the other at a time when Jesus was questioned directly about it by some Pharisees. Come and join us this Sunday morning and discover what Jesus teaches us about marriage and divorce.
Sunday June 29, 2008
Anatomy of Adultery
Matthew 5:27-30; 2 Samuel 11, 12
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I. Introduction
When I was growing up we didn’t have indoor plumbing. What we had was 3 bedrooms and a path. For years we drew all of our water from a deep well outside with a rope and bucket. I still remember the winter that my dad finally bought the first pump for our well. I am not talking about an electric pump. You older folks know what I am talking about. I’m talking about one of those metal pumps that went down in the well with a long pipe and in order to get the water out of the well you had to pump the handle up and down, up and down, until the water worked its way to the top and come spilling out. As my dad installed the pump he talked me and my other two brothers, Larry and Terry, through the whole procedure. He told us that day not to ever put our tongues on the pump handle when it was cold outside because it would cause our tongue to instantly stick to the cold metal and would be very difficult to get it off.
Well my brother Larry heard the warning, but I guess he took it as more of a challenge than a warning, because later that day, when we were building a snow fort in the front yard, we heard a scream that we recognized as Larry's coming from the back of the house. We all ran as fast as we could, and discovered Larry with his tongue hopelessly stuck to the handle of the new pump. We had to get mom, and she had to poor warm water on the tongue and I think Larry left at least the first layer of his taste buds on that cold iron handle. Larry suffered the rest of the winter and on into the spring with a sore tongue, because he failed to heed the warning of his dad.
The point here is that warnings are given to save us pain. As we go through life, we receive a lot of warnings about things that will cause cancer or heart problems, or disease, and even moral problems in life. But unlike putting your tongue on a cold pump handle, the consequences of not heeding some of these other warnings are not always obvious right away. Yet later, often when it is too late, the problems become very obvious. That's one of the reasons why this Sermon on the Mount is full of so many warnings. Jesus wants to save us from the pain, and disappointment and horrors of life that result from not valuing what God does.
You see, the commandments in the Bible come from a loving God, not some mean old grouch! God's love for us is greater than even our own love for ourselves. And His commands are designed to keep us from the pain of our own stupidity, and our own natural, sin-tainted, desires.
I think that's especially true of today's section that we'll be looking at from the Sermon on the Mount. In our scripture this morning in Matthew 5:27-28 27 Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Why would Jesus go so far as to start looking into our thought lives? What's wrong with the philosophy that says "It doesn't matter where you work up your appetite, just as long as you eat at home?" What's wrong with a little lust? It doesn't hurt anyone, does it? To answer that, I'd like to use a Bible example of the only person I can think of, in the Bible, who was called a man after God's own heart, King David and analyze how he messed up in this area of lust. He wasn't fortunate enough to have the warnings we have from the Sermon on the Mount.
So this morning, I'd like you to turn to the Old Testament book of 2 Samuel, chapter 11.
II. Anatomy of David's Lust
2 Samuel11describes an incident in David's life that gives us an anatomy chart of lust. In looking at an incident in David's life, we will get a good insight into how lust begins rather innocently and how it ends with such tragedy. As we look at David's life I invite you ask some questions of yourself, along the way.
A. What Am I Feeling?
The first question is, "What am I feeling?" Let's see if we can step into David's shoes for a moment. 2 Samuel 11:1-2a reads like this: “In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. 2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace.”
These two verses are careful to paint the scene for us. It tells us it's the time of year when kings lead their armies out to war. As winter faded away and the floods receded, often kings would take their armies out to conquer, and to fight. We're told that King David, rather than leading his troops to battle this particular spring, stays home in Jerusalem. He sends his general Joab out with the troops, in his place. I think that's the first clue to us that something is out of place. David is neglecting a responsibility that is his. David is in a place that he wouldn't normally be. He's between accomplishments. His attention is unoccupied.
The first part of verse 2 tells us that one night he had trouble sleeping. Maybe he was bored because he wasn't active enough. But as a result of his insomnia, he gets up and goes on the roof. Now, at this point everything is still innocent, but keep in mind that he's vulnerable.
B. What am I viewing?
The second question to ask yourself is, "What am I viewing?" 2 Samuel 11:2b says “From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful.” Now, in the Middle East, the roofs of houses served as patios or decks. David, the King, lived in the palace. Most likely, his palace was the highest building in the city. From his rooftop patio he could look down on the neighboring houses. As he looks down and he sees a woman named Bathsheba bathing, and as he looks he notices that she's beautiful.
Now, I don't think there's anything wrong yet at this point, because what has just happened is accidental. Now, if David would have said, "Oops, can't be looking in that direction" and turned and walked away, probably no harm would come. But we're told that he looked intently and I can say that because of what he noticed–she was beautiful–and he didn't turn away. You know, there are guys who are... –"Just looking" at magazines for the articles, and then the pictures stay in their mind. –"Just looking" at certain videos or cable stations or movies, but the images stay in their mind. –"Just looking" at a particular web site on the Internet, but that stays in their mind. Be aware that "Just looking" is never "JUST LOOKING!"
Now up until this point, the ladies might be saying, "Go ahead, pastor, give it to those guys because this lust thing is strictly a guy problem." But, ladies, I don't believe for a minute that lust is something women never struggle with. I remember a Diet Coke commercial on TV not too long ago. You might remember the one where women from an office building are crowding the window, every day at the same time, looking down on this construction worker, while he takes off his shirt, and drinks a Coke. But here's the point, what we're viewing opens us up to something that will take root in our mind and our heart.
C. What Am I Planning?
And then the third question to ask yourself, "What am I planning?" 2 Samuel 11:3 reads, “David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "Isn't this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" Now David finds out two things. One, she's married and to be involved with her would be adultery. Second, she is the wife of one of his fighting men; and that man is out to battle while David is sitting home.
So she's alone and available. Look at 2 Samuel 11:4-5: “Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant." David forms a plan. He sends two messengers to Bathsheba's house. He uses his position and power to influence her to come to him. This is so tragic. But it has happened with men in power so often. Here's David, placed in a position of influence and leadership, given to him by God, and he uses it to take advantage of one of the people he is to care for.
So she agrees to come to him, and he sleeps with her–and she becomes pregnant. One of the questions that are asked by those who counsel people who are contemplating suicide is, "Have you planned how you would do it? And if they say, "Yes," then that indicates the most extreme level of seriousness. And if you're to the point of where you're actually planning how you might act upon your lust, let me tell you, you are at the most extreme danger level regarding adultery. But the place to deal with it is not when it gets to that point. Here's the warning again from Matthew 5:28 28: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” David's mental adultery leads to physical adultery. Bathsheba becomes pregnant and the legacy of lust begins. She sends word back to David "I'm pregnant." We don't know why she did this. Maybe she's hoping for protection. You see, according to Jewish law, if word got out that she was pregnant and her husband was gone to war, she could be stoned for her adultery. So, she was sending word to David, "Hey, I'm pregnant and we both know who's responsible for this."
And so David begins to cover up. He has Uriah come home and commends him for his work and says to go home and to your wife. He even gets him a little drunk hoping Uriah will loosen up his disciplined life for a day. But Uriah says, "No, when the other guys are out there fighting, I'm not going to go home and have the opportunity to be with my wife." (Uriah is a better man drunk that David is sober at this point), and he doesn't do it.
Now David thinks, "Now what do I do?" So he sends Uriah back to the "front lines" and arranges through his general, to have Uriah killed. And he is killed in an ensuing battle. You know, it's amazing- Uriah is one of David's elite fighting men and he would have died for David. That's how loyal he was. But David is so consumed in his adultery and the cover-up, that he's disloyal to the very person who is most loyal to him. Well, at this point, David thinks he's gotten away with it. After Bathsheba sheds a few tears, David marries her and takes her into the household and everything seems to be fine until one day the preacher shows up. (It's just like a preacher to ruin a good time, you know.) His name was Nathan. God sent him to confront David's adultery.
Nathan tells David a moving story about a man who has huge herds of sheep and his neighbor who has just one little lamb-named "Fluffy". The guy who had all kinds of sheep invited a guest over, and instead of killing one of his sheep for the meal, he went over and stole that one little lamb from his neighbor, killed it and served "Fluffy" to his guest. At the end of the story, David is outraged. Look at what happens in 2 Samuel 12:7-8 7: “Then Nathan said to David, "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: `I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master's house to you, and your master's wives into your arms. I gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.”
Then in 2 Samuel 12:9-10 it goes on to say, “Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.'
God says, "I'm going to bring down calamity upon you. There's going to be rebellion and death in your future." And the consequences of David's action unfold in the next eight chapters. The child that he had with Bathsheba dies, one of his other sons kills another of his other sons. There's an open rebellion by yet another son, David is expelled from his city and his home and the consequences go on, literally, for generations.
Friends, don't miss the lesson from this anatomy of David's lust. You see, while the nature of lust is private, it can have very public ramifications. While it's something that happens as a secret between two people, it can affect the lives of thousands of people who had no responsibility in the action. The consequences are lasting. From a wandering night on a rooftop, David loses his kids and his kingdom to rebellion. Now, you might be saying, "O come on Ronnie, give me a break. I'm stronger than that. You're going overboard on this lust thing. There is no way that I'm going to lose my family or my job, or my standing in society, because of my thought life.
But several years ago, Linda and I would have said the same thing about a good pastor friend of ours. He and I always worked to keep each other accountable, but after he moved to Louisville, Kentucky to go back to seminary, he lusted after a young lady he worked with and one thing led to another and his whole family life was destroyed in a moments flash. But, if you heed the warning of Jesus, and realize that you've allowed lust to come into your life, there is a solution.
III. Conclusion
Going back to the Sermon on the Mount, in this context of "thought-life adultery", Jesus says in Matthew 5:29-30 29, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Well, Jesus isn't saying that we have to literally poke out our eyes and sever our hands. But he is saying that you need to take care of the problem in your thought life with all seriousness.
–If cable TV movies are the things that are bringing in the lustful thoughts, get rid of them. You probably are going to have to unsubscribe to cable. –If the Internet is the thing that brings lustful thoughts into your mind, stop subscribing to it, or get some filtering software put on your computer. –If watching certain TV shows or listening to certain radio shows are the things that are causing you to have lustful thoughts, stop tuning into them. –If eating lunch with certain men or women who are not your spouse are causing you to have lustful thoughts, don't go there. If things in your life are causing you to be put at risk in any of these stages of lust or adultery, get rid of them. Jesus is giving us some very practical advice. You don't get out of lust and adultery gradually; it has to be through God's grace and a radical surgery of a lifestyle that puts you at risk.
Don't put your tongue on the cold pump handle. It's a warning for your own protection. Don't lust–get rid of things that make you lust. It's a warning for your own protection. Listen to Jesus' warning in the Sermon on the Mount. Don't find out about adultery the hard way.
Amen.